The Secret That Helped Me Quit Smoking

 

 

Have you ever had a goal that for some reason you just couldn’t reach?  My nemesis was quitting smoking.  I’ve tried and even succeeded for a couple of months but then something stressful would happen (car breakdown, etc) and I would would reach for a smoke.  I’ve tried the using the patch, quitting cold turkey and going on a juice fast to get me started.  I always failed.

This last time I did a few things different.  I used the patch (7mg) for a day and also smoked an e-cigarette for about a week.  This helped with the cravings and getting off the physical addiction from nicotine.

I also scheduled my ‘quit week’ for a week I had a conference so I knew I would be busy.  Finally, I didn’t tell anyone I was quitting except two friends in private.  One of them was a long time smoker who had already quit for a month and I asked him how he did it.

I used to go on Facebook and Twitter and let everyone know I was going to quit.  There was always an outpouring of encouragement and I never succeeded.  This video by Derek Sivers at TedTalks changed me.  This last time I told no one.  It worked.

I have used this method another goal I’ve accomplished; starting a band.  Now I’m getting some confidence and have started another goal that I have been longing to achieve.  It is….well, I can tell you after I finish it.

How about you?  Have you tried not telling anyone your goals or would you be willing to try it.

 

 

 

 

My Philosophy

Never work in a cubicle, factory or any place that makes you punch a time card. If the boss is a corporate dick, or just a dick, quit. Life is too short and you can never replace the time you waste there. You can replace the money.

Money doesn’t buy the experiences you remember. How many days at work do you remember? How many vacations do you remember? Slow down. Eat a meal on your patio on a sunny day. Pretend you are in a fancy restaurant. Savor each bite. Make it last an hour or more. Play some jazz or other cool music run a water fountain. Listen. Breathe. Smile. You will remember that one meal over the thousands of days you worked in a cubicle.

Throw caution to the wind. Move, change, quit, start. Now. NOW! You cannot fail. You are going to die. If life is eternal then this isn’t life. This is just a chapter in a book. Have you ever had a translucent dream? You were in a dream and realized you were in a dream so you experimented. You knew you couldn’t be hurt so you had courage. Life is a DREAM. Have COURAGE.

Love, do not hate. When you have trouble forgiving ask God for help. Pray or recite poems or lyrics to get your thoughts off the anger. Do something. Forgive yourself.

Don’t listen to everyone else. Most people just repeat the same shit everyone else says. Sit quietly. Listen to yourself. If you’re over 40 you probably know more than you need to and do less than you know. Do more. And when you find that one or two voices that speak to your soul, read, listen and follow them until they no longer speak to you. Question everything. What is right for one person may not be right for you. ‘Express Yourself’

Do you know that song you like to sing, that dance you like to dance, that canvas you like to paint or that trail you like to hike? Do it today.

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Income

 

Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

-”Why do I feel financially trapped; stuck in a rut?”

 -”How would my life improve if you had more money?”

  -”What can I do to create more income?”

  -”Why am I always financially struggling?”

 

These are questions I’ve been asking myself since the beginning of the year.  After my friend Dan Miller sent me a copy of Steve Seibolds book, “How Rich People Think, I discovered that the solution is to start by changing my thinking. I’ve learned that most of what I was told about how to get rich was wrong and taught by people who don’t have a clue.

The first chapter of Steve’s book is titled: Middle class focuses on saving…World class (rich) focuses on earning.  He goes on to state that most people are driven by fear of losing what they have  while the wealthy focus their mind on creating wealth by serving others and solving problems.

He goes on to state that the wealthy have an abundance mentality and believe even if they lose everything, they can get it back.  Then Steve asks a million dollar question: “Are you more focused on saving pennies or building an empire?”

 

To test this concept, I’ve asked 3 successful entrepreneur friends of mine to comment on this question:   

                                              Do you focus on savings or income?  

Here are their answers:

 

1.) Dan Miller   -founder 48Days.com, 48Days.net, author 48 Days to The Work You Love, No More Mondays, Wisdom Meets Passion, speaker and coach.  *(You can find his full answer here, on his 48Days Podcast, 1/11/13 at 14 minutes and 30 seconds into the episode.)

-“I intend to earn my way into wealth, not save my way into wealth”

-I think, “How can I add that much money very quickly”

-his focus is on creating new products or services that people want and need

-add value and serve others

-being frugal has very little to do with attaining wealth, it’s more about being a good steward of my resources

-The Stockdale Paradox-people who are only optimistic will lose hope, despair and die.  Those who visualize, plan and identify real  things they are going to do to create the future they want tend to live more fulfilling lives.

 

2.) Mark Cleveland   -serial entrepreneur, CEO of Swiftwick (world’s best athletic sock made in Tennessee!) and Hobby Lobby International (cool remote controlled airplanes and cars).

-Always focus on revenue; revenue is where it’s at!

-Enjoy the building process.

-Think of your long term objectives and don’t let short term difficulties redefine your goal.

-Concentrate on creating rain; creating new products and services.

-Solving the difficult problems is where the money is at.

-Surround yourself with good people.

-Constantly be thinking of your top line.

 

3.) Phil Theodore   -endurance athlete, serial entrepreneur, a personal mentor of mine, currently preparing for a 300 mile race in the Arctic, The Ukon Arctic Ultra

-”Keeping track of the past is a waste of time”

-Read books about where you are going.  Ex. Phil is planning on rowing a boat 3,000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean in the Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge, so he is reading The Crossing by James Cracknell to focus his mind.

-Don’t look at last month or the month before, spend time on sales, product development and think about where you want to go.

-Ask yourself, “What are the 2 or 3 things I can do today to affect income?”

-Accountants focus on the past. Put your focus on the present.

-Have check lists for mental focus and motivation.  Ex. If not feeling well, think of HALT-am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?  If hungry, eat, tired then take a nap, etc.

 -90% of success is mental and you need to keep your mind focused.

 

How about you?  Have you focused on income or savings?  If you’re not getting the results you want, how do you plan to change?

 

 

 

 

 

5 Steps I’ve Used To Write My First Book

Last week I gave my first keynote speech in front of almost 300 people for Graceworks ministries. Here’s a short clip:

The next day I was reflecting upon my the moves that helped me get to this point.  Here are the five steps I took to manifest my new career:

1.) Dream

I am a musician who has played thousands of gigs next to jukeboxes and dart boards.  I realized that unless I changed something I would never get out of bars.  I heard about Jana Stanfield, who was a Nashville songwriter, like me, struggling to make her way.  She started speaking and using her music to convey a positive message.  Now she travels the world sharing the stage with Jack Canfield and Wayne Dyer.  She made the leap and that became my dream: To travel the world speaking and sharing my music.

2.) Seek Knowledge/Mentorship

Author Dan Miller often says on his podcast, 48 Days To The Work You Love, that one success principle is to seek out others who have done what you want to do and ask them for advice or take them to lunch.  His words were on my mind when I bumped into him at the Franklin, TN post office.  Somehow I got the courage to ask him to lunch (with his encouragement from the podcast running through my mind).

We met at Wolfgang Pucks and I told him I would like to become a speaker who talks and uses music to inspire and encourage others.  Then he asked about my story.  I told him about my foreclosure and living in the truck stop parking lot and how I learned to apply gratitude for everything.  Dan said, “You should write a book about that”.  He said the best way to get into speaking is through writing and the best way to get into writing is through speaking.  They both compliment each other.  A generous hour and a half later I paid for lunch (always pay if you ask!) and left with all the notes I took and inspired by all his encouragement.

3.)  Surround Yourself with Dreamers

Some of the most encouragement I have received is being in the presence of other optimists.  The best place to find them is at conferences.  I’ve attended Write to the Bank in Franklin *, TN repeatedly for the last year and a half.  This conference has show me how to market my book, how to build a platform, what publishers are looking for (they bring in a publisher), the advantages of self-publishing (they bring in Kent Julian, a successful speaker with several self-published books, and the talk about ways to write (they bring in a successful author).  They build in plenty of time to network with others and I always come away highly motivated. You are who you surround yourself with.

Also, I got more involved in 48days.net.  Check it out for yourself.

4.) Take Action

This trumps everything.  You don’t have to dream to write a book, you have to write.   When you’re in doubt, write.  When tired, write. Do something, move forward. Focus.  Don’t ‘build a platform’, don’t tweet, don’t worry about the book cover.  A book that is not written does not need a cover.  Write.  Do what is in front of you that day.

After I wrote my book I went to the newspapers and a got some publicity.  Then I started calling around, asking organizations if I could speak for them.  The book generated some credibility and shared my story.  The newspaper articles helped get the word out.  Along with some book signings and giving away many, many free books I started to get a little traction.  I will keep that traction by more action!  Action is all!

5.) Manifest

This is the most incredible part.  After I spoke to the audience at Graceworks I took the next day off.  I looked back at where I began, more than a year and a half ago.  I reflected that it all began with an idea and now I am doing it!  For the first time I could see what happened.  It wasn’t just belief, it was knowing.  This is how things get done.  Start with an idea, seek knowledge, surround yourself with winners, take massive action and then see it, feel it, and experience it.

What or where will you be 18 months from today?  What is your dream or idea?

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Why Thoughts Are Like Snowballs

photo courtesy pigsonthewing @Flickr

“Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results” -James Allen

In Steve Jobs biography it is written that Steve felt thought patterns were like grooves on a record.  The mind will generally stay in that groove unless you change it.  I relate to this a little differently.  I call it the thought snowball.

When I was working alone out in the field one day at Arrington Vineyards, seven years ago, my thoughts started to turn Continue Reading…

A Story of a Great Teacher

photo courtesy of Evelyn Saenz @Flickr

Do you remember a teacher that changed your life? I do.  He was my 11th grade Algebra teacher and the football coach, Mr. Fetzer.

Mr. Fetzer wasn’t a tall or big man.  He had short hair parted and the side and taught algebra with the intensity of a football coach.  It was his passion and compassion that made him remarkable.

My high school was a vocational school.  One week was spent in academics and the next week I learned diesel mechanics.  Because of this my math classes were Continue Reading…

What Would You Do In My Situation?


How do you handle adversity?  Are you thankful for it?  Are you proactive?

Over the past 7 years I have not concerned myself with finances much.  If I had rent, gas and food then I just enjoyed my life.  Now I really hunger to move on to a higher level of financial success.  Here is where I am at financially:

Savings: $300

Yearly Income: 2011 Continue Reading…

What I Would Have Missed Had I Succeeded In Killing Myself

 

I open  my book You Can Sleep In Your Car But You Can’t Drive You House To Work with a couple of stories about trying to kill myself while depressed and having my home foreclosed in 2004.  I realize my life is all “bonus hockey”.  You know,

Continue Reading…

Do You Know The Greatest Profession?

photo courtesy Alan Light @Flickr

Speaker Cavett Robert once told a story of the King’s servant who stumbled upon a Genie in the bottle one day.  After he rubbed the bottle the Genie came out, thanked him and granted him one wish.  The King’s servant said, “All my life I have been serving the King and his court.  I would like for others to now serve me”.  The Genie granted his one with and then disappeared.

The servant then walked to the street and a car appeared.  The driver got out, opened the door for him and asked him where he would like to go.  The servant, rather impressed, asked to go to dinner.  The driver took him to the finest restraunt, pulled in front then opened the car door for him.  He got out and someone opened the door of the dinner and he was waited on by the staff.  After dinner the car Continue Reading…

Introduction to my new book

God and Footprints in the Sand

photo courtesy Luis De Bethencourt, Flickr

 

Many people are familiar with the poem, “Footprints“.  Many people have claimed to write it or some version of it over the years.  The poem talks about a dream where they looked over their life and saw two sets of footprints in the sand.  One represented theirs and the other God’s.  The author points out that over the span of their life, at the most troubled part, there were only one set of footprints.  The author asks God, “Why did you abandon me when I needed you most”.  God said, “That was were I carried you”.

Ok, there’s the synopsis.  That has not been my experience with God.  My experience has been whenever there is one set of footprints,that is God walking over to me.  God has always met me where I was at.  When depressed, addicted, abandoned and homeless, God’s hand was there for me, right next to me.  All I had to do was lift up my hand and reach for Him.  I had to reach out to God and grab His hand.

God met me where I was at.  It made little difference as to my understanding or prejudices of God.  It didn’t matter the depth of my belief.  All that mattered was that I asked for His help, care and protection.

What has been your experience connecting to God or a Higher Power?

The 5 Best Tips on Starting a Service Business

(Photo courtesy IStock)

 

Have you ever thought about starting a service business?  Do you currently run one?  

Almost four years ago I started a janitorial company, Cool Springs Office Cleaning.  I asked for advice from several friends of mine who have successful business’s.  Here are 5 of the best tips they gave me: Continue Reading…

4 Magic Words to Transform Your Attitude

That's me, running up the steps of the Sydney Opera House in Australia (photo by Richard Edelstien)

 

Several years ago I called a friend of mine for help.  I was going through a rough spot in with my life.  I knew I needed to change my attitude but my mind kept focusing on my problem, which only made things worse.

My friend told 4 words he tells himself that worked to change his attitude and keep him positive.  He said, “I just tell myself, ‘I’m living my dream’”.

I started telling myself that and immediately my attitude changed.  I started laughing and thought, yeah, some dream.

Then I thought about all of the good things in my life and all I had to be thankful for.  I also remembered, as Og Mandino says, “this too shall pass”.

My attitude continues to make all the difference in how I handle life’s challenges on a daily basis.  And I am ‘living my dream’.

What do you use to change you attitude when you are down?

The Gratitude Challenge and Book Give-Away

 

 

“Constantly thank God. When suffering, thank God for needing his comfort and love” -Fr. Gordon

“Thus, appreciation is the antidote to fear” -What Happy People Know, Dr. Dan Baker

(photo by Crystl via Flickr)

Do you get the winter blues?  Have you been knocked back on you feet due to a job loss, home foreclosure or a relationship break-up.  There is a Zen saying that goes, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional“.  Yet in the book Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl it is stated that, “to live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering”.  Frankl goes on to say that while he was imprisoned in a concentration camp during WWII he observed that , “to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances is the last of human freedoms”.

In tough circumstances I have found Continue Reading…

How to George Costanza Your Instincts

“Every instinct I’ve had in every area of life….it’s all been wrong”.  -George Costanza

“Well there’s no telling what could happen as the result of this”. -Elaine

“If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right”. -Jerry Seinfield

Have you ever felt all of your instincts in life were wrong?  How do we learn to hone them and use them for our benefit?  How do we know if doing the opposite of our instincts will actually Continue Reading…

Here’s my epitaph, what’s yours?

I often hear speakers ask, “What do you want on your gravestone?  What do you want to be known for?”.  I never had an answer.  How the hell should I know?  Isn’t that something that is decided by others?

photo courtesy Carla216 Flickr

Now I’ve lived a pretty interesting life.  I moved to Nashville with whatever I could fit in my car and slept on my friend’s couch until I got settled.  I’ve worked in the music industry, played in a band, wrote some great songs (I Still Got a Lot To Give), played music in church, sang at weddings, traveled to Acapulco in a private jet (totally kicked ass!), traveled to Australia and went dog-sledding in Colorado.  I have even published my first book, You Can Sleep In Your Car But You Can’t Drive Your House To Work.

Here’s the thing, Continue Reading…

Do You Have a Pacer?

Do you set goals so big that you cannot achieve them on your own? If so, you need a pacer; someone to run along side you, encourage you and make sure you are keeping on course.

Photo: Pacers Daley Ervin (left) and Will Stinson (right) pose with Phil Theodore during the home stretch of his 100 mile run in Leadville, CO

My friend Phil just ran his first in Leadville, Colorado at 10,000 feet of elevation. It took him 29 hours and 21 minutes. He started at 4am Saturday morning and ended Sunday morning at 9:21am. He climbed 7,800 feet to a height of 12,620 feet above sea level. This was the culmination of two years of intense training and preparation. Phil will be the first to tell you he could not have done it on his own.

So what did Phil do? He recruited two pacers; two men that would take turns running next to him. The pacers job is to make sure

Continue Reading…

Do You Make Excuses?

While at Starbucks this past weekend a friend was sharing with Keith (another friend) and I an opportunity for a solution he had (some people call them problems).  We were sitting at Five Points Starbucks in Downtown Franklin, TN discussing the situation when Keith said, “Winners don’t make excuses, they make things happen!”  We laughed and made him repeat it.  ”Winners don’t make excuses, they make things happen!”

(photo courtesy Findyoursearch on Flickr)

What a gem.  Yes, it has been said many times in many different ways.  No, it’s not new.  And yes, it is true.  Simple but true.

Winners fail but they don’t let failure define them.  Winners quit but not due to frustration; they quit when it’s time to quit and move on.  Winners are optimistic.  But most importantly, winners don’t make excuses, they make things happen.  Thank you Keith!

How are you making things happen?

 

How to Declare Your Independence: 6 Steps

As we celebrate Independence Day in the United States, let us not forget our service men and women who allowed us to wake up in safety.  Let us honor their sacrifice.  The debt owed to them can never be paid back.  It is a gift you and I possess.

The freedoms we take for granted today are just a spark in a dark room of world history.  What we have today is not common and it will pass.  The world will fall back into the tyranny and slavery of evil men, if history is to repeat itself.  Only the sacrifice of those before us and those that continue to serve allow us to temporarily hold this gift.  Let us not waste it.

(photo courtesy flickr by ElvertBarnes)

What is holding you back? Is there a communist regime with its foot on your neck as you lie face down in the mud?  Are you Continue Reading…

How I Cut $169 From My Monthly Budget

 

It is not the man who has little, but the man who craves more, that is poor”.-Seneca the Younger

Lately I have noticed my monthly expenses creeping up.  I decided I had two choices, increase my income or lower my expenses.  In order to increase my income I had to either find a few new cleaning accounts for my janitorial business, find more music gigs to play, or create something new.  In other words, trade hours for dollars.  Since I enjoy my ‘time freedom’ and blogging  on topics like  contentment, I decided to simplify and lower my monthly expenses.

(photo courtesy of Borman818 @flickr)

In order to do this, I did a review of all my monthly expenses: Continue Reading…

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